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Friday, March 30, 2012

Self Care

About one year into motherhood, I experienced what I felt was a near nervous breakdown because I was not taking care of myself and it was a SCARY place to be.  Once I reached this miserable place I knew I had to improve my self care so I booked a weekend trip to NYC (brave and huge for me).  I remember when I was there finally breathing, taking care of myself, slowing down and having some HUGE revelations about what I needed to do to start repairing my miserable existence.   How ironic that I needed to go to NYC to find some quiet in my mind?   I spent the next part of a decade figuring out how to put myself on the top of the list (and 10 more trips to NYC).  And now because I take care of myself, I can actually give back MORE to my family, job, friends, etc.  Here's my self care tips:

1.  Find Hobbies

Once I became a mother, every hobby and every passion was shoved away so that I could be the "best mother" possible.  While it worked for awhile, I can tell you that it lead to complete misery.  Now, the way I discover my passions is to go with my "flow".   If something feels good to me, interests me, or lights me up I follow it.   My current hobbies are gardening, traveling, meditation, cooking, biking, reading, music, blogging, running, photography and puzzles.  Keep in mind, I do not have time for a lot of these hobbies daily because I need to work and get 3 kids three different places, but every day I try to squeeze in part of one hobby.

40th Birthday - Trip to Utah / pampering & hobbies



2. Pamper Yourself:

Pampering yourself means many different things to different people, but EVERYONE can find ways for pampering whether it's a candlelight bath, meditating to music or strolling through the woods.  I personally love massage, so once a year I buy a package (buy 5 get 1 free) and am guaranteed a massage every other month.  Just the thought of a massage makes me HAPPY and relaxed.    If I'm REALLY stressed and need some pampering, I will beg and plead my family to rub my feet.  Pampering can also be a manicure at a mall salon (cheap) or even a cup of coffee at your local coffee shop. 

I also LOVE to shop for new clothes, but I found that I was always buying clothes for my kids.  Now, if I need to do a new season shop-a-roo for my kids, I also buy myself at least one new outfit.  And, I believe if you are buying your kids expensive clothes, you are just as worthy and should not skimp on yourself.  After all, your clothes will last for awhile, your kids will outgrow them in 6 months.


3.  Get Enough Sleep:  I really believe everyone should aim for 8 hours of sleep a night.  And, if you have time and you're tired during the day, take a cat nap.  Personally, I know that I'm defensive, unhappy, and unfocused when I haven't had enough sleep. 



4.  Exercise:   I also believe exercising is the key to your happiness.  Of course there's a million different exercise routines available to you, but it's a matter of scheduling it in.  Currently I'm in a period of transition, but I've started running and biking again weather permitting.  Since the weather is iffy in the month of March, I also have been playing "Just Dance" with the kids, or following an exercise video on Netflix (there's a TON).


Crunches on the Ball!


5.  Eat Right:  Again,  what you eat directly affects not only your physical health but your mental health as well.  My daily treat:  1 ounce of dark chocolate (70%) and kombucha.  Dark cacao is one of the most nutrient dense food in the world, and I could go on and on about kombucha.  After my treat of chocolate and kombucha, I almost feel like I have a little beer buzz, but without the after affects of alcohol.    How cool is that? 

6.  Social Networks:  Part of my breakdown in 1999 was related to the fact that I was new to the area, lived in the sticks, didn't have family around, and did not take any time to develop new friendships.  Eventually, I joined a book club, joined a fitness group, and started to meet other moms as Graham started different sports and this made all the difference.

7.  Keep your mind sharp:  Part of self care means taking care of your mind too, whether that's reading, crossword puzzles, words with friends, or sudoku - taking care to nurture your mind is an important part of taking care of "you". 


I LOVE to Read


8.  Power of Positive Thinking:  My Grandma Evelyn was the queen of positive thinking, and I'm grateful I inherited this gene from her.    If you think good thoughts, you will feel good and if you are grateful for what you have, you will get more.   And, it's totally possible to change your thinking.

9.  Maintain a spiritual connection:   Most logical people know that you can not be happy without a spiritual connection.   Spirituality is different for everyone, but for me I find spirituality in nature, meditation, and prayer.  


Greta and Me - Spirituality in nature = Copper Falls



10.  Self-Talk:  No surprise that negative self talk causes tremendous stress.  While it's hard to do, it is possible to change your internal dialogue, I know it's possible because I reversed my self talk over the course of  a decade.   In my experience, meditation, silence, being in nature, and breath work all can help reverse the negative dialogue.  My goal is to be in the moment and have ZERO self talk (positive or negative).  If I'm in that state, I know I'm in the moment and life is pretty dang good no matter what is going on around me.



Whew!  I started with 2 paragraphs but this got LONG.  If you got this far, thanks for reading!
And remember, you can not meet the needs of others if your own needs are not met.



What do you do to take care of yourself?  I'd love to hear!


Kristin

2 comments:

  1. You said it, sista! The sleep thing is huge. I wish I was better at calling it a night instead of constantly trying to squeeze in one more thing.

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  2. I love how much you share of yourself and of course for being an awesome running partner.

    ReplyDelete